How the animals communicate

A curious thought. That's how this started off. We all know animals communicate, but how is this done. I will attempt to explain this (with tongue firmly planted in cheek).

I am basing my hypothesis on a few assumptions. 1) similar species will have a similar language. 2) In a leap of faith, one has to assume that intra-species communication does occur. 3) It's my whim to choose which species can do this "intra-species communication". 4) There are no rules, this is purely a flight of fancy. The views expressed are completely those of the writer, based on absolutely nothing.

WARNING

The following selection may contain material unsuitable for all audiences.
(Not really, but now that I have your attention...)

Let us assume that all herbivores speak a similar language. In some cases a different dialect but essentially the same language. Impala and antelope speak the same dialect, but it's the impala that can talk with the zebra. It's only the buffalo that can talk with the kudu, they are kind of off on their own experiment or something.

The baboons and vervets, well, that is a tough one. One almost think they can, but not quite. They are close. I've noticed that buffalo are often there when the baboons are there, the inference is that baboons and buffalo talk. On the other hand, vervets, I've noticed, are most often there when the impala are there, inference...vervets and impala can talk.

Zebra are the savant of this group. They speak antelope, but choose not to associate themselves with them. They are fluent in impala and trade jokes about the baboons all the time. They talk with the buffalo constantly about the threat level and should it be raised or lowered. They are maintaining an Orange level threat risk after the Christmas take over by the lions. Zebra are also quite conversant in elephant. They often exchange jokes about the impala. Zebra are also the only ones that can talk with giraffes. Zebra can also communicate with the vervet monkeys, but only when approached.

Now, wildebeast and buffalo are on the same page. They never plan on it but from time to time they bump into each other in the bush. They chat for a while, trade jokes about the zebra, giraffe and baboons. Then part company until the next random meeting.

Elephants are conversant in many languages also. They dont see as many hippo as they used to, so they are worried about loosing that skill. They talk with the zebra quite often, just to see what they are up to. They meet up with the rhino from time to time and trade jokes about the zebra. Every once in a while they hook up with the buffalo, laugh at the zebra and trade jokes about the baboons.

Jackals and Hyaena, while the same language it's 2 completely different dialects. Not to offend, but it's like taking a super southern person from the Appalachians and asking him to talk with some one speaking Gaelic. Close but no banana.

Warthogs, they either speak Klingon or Nausican with the appropriate attitude.

Add in the birds and it gets really crazy. I'm convinced that Egyp and Tian understand what all the other birds are saying. They are constantly collecting gossip to spread through the bush. The hornbills show up and go "geez, are they still here?". Very often they meet with the vultures and catch up on things and trade jokes about the geese and zebra. All the birds are constantly talking with each other.

Lions, well they speak lion. Most residents of the pan cant speak lion, but they understand it beyond a shadow of a doubt. When a lion roars its saying "Who are you? Do you think your the boss of me? Are you the boss of me???" Since that's all the lion says I suppose it is a rhetorical question and every one just gets out of the way.

Now for the key to the whole thing, the one animal that can communicate with all others. The oxpecker. They are fluent in all languages, but no one knows that. If they couldn't speak your language, would you let a bird crawl all over your head, or other sensitive places I've seen them? I've seen them on elephant, buffalo, impala, antelope, warthog, giraffe and on and on. They get together with the nightjars and trade all kinds of jokes,

Don't you know they know all the good jokes?