I AM  A 46 YR OLD MOM AND I HAVE 2 WONDERFUL SON'S.  I AM DISABLED AND CAN NOT WORK DUE TOO THE FACT THAT I AM  DYING.  I HAVE MANY NICK NAMES BUT THE ONE THAT MEANS THE MOST IS THE ONE MY DAD GAVE ME WHEN I WAS JUST ALITTLE ONE WHICH IS 2SHY. MY OTHERS ARE JEN JEN, FERN, FERNAJEN, POTTIES, AND SHY.  MOST OF TIME THAT I WAS GROWING UP THEY ALL CALLED ME FERN SO I THOUGHT THAT I WAS PLANT AND NOT A HUMAN BEING HAHAHA.  MY DAD WAS THE ONLY ONE TO EVER CALL ME 2SHY THOUGH HE WAS A WONDERFUL DAD AND FRIEND. I MISS HIM VERY MUCH HE DIED WHEN I WAS 14 AND PASSED HIS ILLNESSES ONTO ME NEVER KNOWING THAT HE DID.  I LOVED HIM FROM THE BEGINNING, I LOVE HIM NOW AND I WILL LOVE HIM FOREVER AND ALWAYS.  I HAVE BEEN HOPING THAT I WOULD BE ABLE TO TRAVEL TO OTHER PARTS OF THE WORLD BUT THAT WILL NOT BE ABLE TO HAPPEN.  I HAVE BEEN TO ALL BUT 5 STATES HERE IN THE USA AND I'M HOPING I WILL BE ABLE TO EE THEM BEFORE I PASS ON.   OUR FAMILY WAS UNABLE TO SEE THE OTHER 5 STATES BECAUSE OF MY DAD DYING, WE DIDN'T WANT TO SEE THEM WITHOUT HIM THERE WITH US.  I AM STILL THINKING ABOUT THE OTHER 5 STATES I HAVE TO SEE EVEN WITHOUT HIM OR THE REST OF MY FAMILY.  I KNOW HE WOULD BE THEREIN SPIRIT WITH ME BUT THE OTHERS DON'T WANT TO GO THEY SAY THAT IT WON'T BE THE SAME WHICH IT WON'T.  BUT I FEEL SOMETIMES THAT HE WOULD WANT US TO GO SEE THEM. BUT THAT JUST ME.